Chapter 1.10: Unromatic Situations and the Attack of the Creeper Townies

It's time for another Sauda update! Now that Sauda is at a pivotal point in her life- you know, being a single mother desperately trying to marry a man who she's not technically even dating- things should get especially interesting. Then again, when are things not interesting for Sauda? She basically has a weird situation detector which means that bizarre things happen to her on a daily basis.

But now that there are cute toddlers in the house, who cares about Sauda?? Introducing: toddler picture spam!

Now tell me, how could this cuteness possibly be resisted?



Awww! This looks like some kind of choking hazard, but it's darn adorable!



Yes, Barbara we're looking at you and your brother's incredible cuteness! Better get used to it! We've all been looking at your mother's ugly pink leather formalwear for far too long, it's time to take advantage of the new blood in the house!



Speaking of... here's Sauda in her favorite, most annoying outfit. I guess we aren't done with it yet.

(Who else is waiting anxiously for Sauda's elder birthday, when Sauda will have to get rid of the outfit? Then again, knowing my luck there will be some kind of glitch where elder Sauda gets stuck in the outfit and won't change into anything else.)



Sauda is out at the diner strutting around like the insane sim she is, when she receives a call from Donnovan.

Sauda: He wants to go on a date!

Well, that's a shocker. Now she just has to turn the date into a marriage proposal. Easy!



Sauda is very desperate for that date, or maybe just the possibility of someone else taking care of the twins. She left them at home with a babysitter... I think. At least I hope she did!



Here he is! Go Sauda, go! You got Donnovan into bed... err, well, photo booth and shower with you- you can seduce him into marriage!

I just realized they never Woohooed in a bed. Typical Sauda, when would she ever do anything the normal way?



YES, Sauda, YES! Keep up with the PDA!

By the way, what is it with Sauda and creepy townies watching her every move? Seriously, is the whole town stalking her? Yes, lady sitting at the table staring directly at Sauda and Donnovan, I'm talking about you!



The two of them are really hitting it off tonight. They hang out for a while, and then decide to go see a movie together. And then Sauda's phone decides to ring.

Why is she always so much more popular when she's on a date? Her phone never rings when she's at home doing nothing!

Luckily, she ignores the phone. Nothing will get in the way of her marriage mission.



After the movie, Sauda and Donnovan still seem very happy to be together.



Princess! Not you too! Stop joining the ranks of the creepy townies who always show up during Sauda's romantic moments!



Sauda: So, Donny, wanna be my boyfriend?

Princess: Help, I can't move, even though there's plenty of room around me!

Random Townie: *awkwardly stands there looking away*

Clearly Sauda couldn't have picked a more romantic way/moment to ask Donnovan to be her boyfriend.



Luckily, Donnovan still said yes!



Sauda: Oh, hey, since you said yes to that, and we've been going out for all of two seconds, I figure it's time to take this to the next step.

She's not rushing things or anything. Not at all. Wow, she must be more miserable raising the twins by herself than I thought!



Sauda: Donny, we've had good times and bad times, but we've gotten through it all. Will you marry me and help me in my quest to defeat the fairies?

Oh, she just had to bring the fairies into it, didn't she?! It was almost sweet up until that point!



Donnovan: OMG OMG OMG! No one's ever asked me to marry them before!

Well, he looks happy...



I think it's a yes! Sauda is an engaged woman!

And she immediately rolls the wish to move in with him, so within another few seconds Donnovan is an official member of the household. Finally!

BUT WAIT: there's ANOTHER sketchy townie watching them! Okay, this is getting to be absurd! The townies need to get lives of their own!



Donnovan settles in nicely. Straight away he goes to get to know his daughter. Yay, family bonding!



Careful there Donnovan, you do not want to smash your sweet little daughter into the cheap ceiling light.



Even Sauda is stepping up a little as a parent. She actually wants to potty train her son, shocker! I think she wants to show she's just as good of a parent as Donnovan.

Sauda: I want to stop having to change all his pooey, gross diapers.

Or that...



After the kids are asleep, Donnovan decides to try his hand at being a scientist. Fortunately, it's much less scary than when Sauda does this. At least Donnovan looks like a (mostly) sane individual.

Though I should mention all the lovely things I've learned since he moved in:

1. He's got the Heartbreaker LTW. Great, just great! Now how's he supposed to have ten girlfriends after he's married Sauda? Well, technically he only needs three more, since story progression gave him a whooping 7 out of 10 of the required girlfriends. That's actually kind of impressive. And scary. At least he doesn't have the Commitment Issues trait!

2. He has a teen child by another woman, Piper Sparks. They never got married though. Oh well, Sauda can learn to forget about his past, right? And Rob Sparks, the teen, is old enough that the twins won't be running into him at school or anything.

3. One of his exes is purple and has pointy ears. About as close to a fairy as you can get in a Supernatural-less game. Sauda would freak if she found out about this.

This engagement is off to a nice start...



The next day, Sauda is in an awful rush out the door. Well, at least she doesn't utterly fail as a mother and remembered to feed her child. Though that potty could use a nice emptying.



Donnovan: Where's my fianceé going?

Serves him right for not knowing! I am not happy with Donnovan right now, I may very well have to earn him up lots of LTH points to change his LTW. More trouble than he's worth, this one!

On the bright side, maybe Sauda will go through a mid-life crisis and want to divorce him/end the engagement. It could happen!



But then again... he's actually good with the kids, while Sauda is a really cruddy mother. Okay, let's postpone the mid-life crisis till after the twins age up to kids.



Wait, what? THIS is where Sauda went? To a date at the fire station with Darren Dreamer (who as far as I know has NOT become a firefighter)? In what alternate reality are Sauda and Darren (both married or soon to be married) attracted to each other?

Looks like the new attraction system is already shaking things up. Because before the update, Darren would never have called Sauda "hot" and wanted to go on a date with her.

Those little hearts floating in the air are scaring me. I don't want Sauda to ruin the sweet Dreamer marriage! What if poor little Dirk is never born because of Sauda?!



Sauda: Why is your daughter Delilah bald? She's not a toddler anymore! Normal kids have hair! Both my toddlers have lots of hair! Delilah isn't normal! And she's not even wearing any pink!

Darren: What are you trying to say here?

Okay, here we go. Sauda instigating a ridiculous argument like usual. Things are back to normal, and those repulsive hearts are all gone. Their respective marriage and engagement are safe again!

And we can also thank the update with the alien baldness for Delilah's hairlessness.



Sauda: Your kid has no hair, and isn't wearing pink! Therefore you're a bad parent!



Darren: You- You-!

Struggling to describe Sauda? I feel your pain, her insanity often transcends mere words.



Darren: *settles for a major Not Amused face*



And after that, Sauda backs off. Not because she's scared of Darren or has run out of insults, but because she's had a new wish. For what, you might ask. Why, a Bachelorette Party, of course! And she's run back home to start planning it.

The question isn't: Will this go wrong?, It's: How will will this go wrong? And believe me, Sauda's Bachelorette Party is definitely going to live up to her family name of random!



Well, Sauda has made progress, I guess. A new fiancé (who happens to also be her boss- go her!), someone else in the house to take care of the kids, and a party in the works. Now let's just see if the attraction system continues to wreak havoc in everyone's lives. And if Sauda can get through this upcoming Bachelorette Party in one piece! Plus, who will she invite? :)

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this update! Remember to comment here or on my thread, I love to hear from you all.

Chapter 1.9: Motherhood and General Craziness

Hey guys, I know you've just been dying in anticipation for the next update in Sauda's overly dramatic, insane, and random life!

Last chapter, Sauda woohooed with Donnovan, or Donny, as she prefers to call him. This eventually resulted in a pair of twins (YES, my wishacy lives to see another generation!), Vlad and Barbara. Interesting name choices courtesy of the randomizer at behindthename.com.

Now that Sauda is officially a single mother who has had no interaction with her baby daddy in days, what will happen? She has the wish to get married, and in fact that may be a necessity considering Sauda's utter lack of mothering skills.

For example, witness this moment, shortly after Sauda returns from the hospital with her newborn babies.

Vlad: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Fail, Sauda, just fail. Mothering tip #1: Don't leave your newborn baby crying on the floor.



Sauda: I'm already holding this one! I can't hold both the little twerps at once, I haven't been coded to that yet!

Unfortunately, she has a point. This is why being a sim single mother of twins is probably not such a good idea.



After putting Barbara to bed, Sauda finally decides to pick poor Vlad up off of the floor.

Sauda: Ugh, how do I know when he's done?

Sauda is very lucky she's not in Sims Medieval. I don't think she'd like the breast feeding so much. In fact, she's lucky all the bottles are basically pre-made for her. She doesn't even have to walk to the fridge to get one!

Also, look at the general mess of Sauda's house. Why, why, WHY can't Sauda roll the wish to hire a maid? Let's all cross our fingers and pray one of these twins gains the neat trait and keeps the house clean.



Sauda heads to the nursery, puts Vlad in his crib, and then:

Sauda: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Wow, they haven't even done anything heinous yet, like keep Sauda up all night or effectively prevent her from leaving the house. It's barely been any time. I think she might go even more insane, if that's possible.



Sauda, not by the window! The neighbors are going to see! New mothers are NOT supposed to be trying to choke themselves to death. Well, really no one's supposed to be doing that, but still.



Oh great, just great! No sooner has Sauda actually gone to bed, when this darn burglar starts creeping up to her house.

Seriously, burglar? SERIOUSLY? Have you SEEN Sauda's house? It by far the tiniest, ugliest house in Lucky Palms (including those ones near the dried up lake thing on the poor side of town), and you can bet she has nothing of value inside of it.



Sauda: Why do I feel like I'm about to be robbed?

Well, at least she's not a heavy sleeper!



Yo, guy in the background! You see that sim creeping very sneakily towards the house, obviously dressed like a burglar? Call the police!



But I forgot, didn't I? Sauda IS a police officer! Easy to forget sometimes, because she's so nutty.

That burglar is cracking her knuckles, not knowing what's about to hit her.



Sauda: Hey, you in the mask! Are you trying to break in and steal some of my cruddy, low-quality items?

Burglar: N-no, of c-course not...

I guess she isn't confronted about her stealing problem very often.



Go Sauda!! You kick some burglar butt!



Sauda: Don't you ever come back to steal from my house again! The objects may be dirty and cheap, but they're MINE! And you tell the fairies that put you up to this that I will get them for this!



Burglar: OWWWW.

No pity for you.



Burglar: She's strong and crazy! I'm getting out of here!

Good idea, burglar. Prolonged exposure to Sauda usually results in personality shifts, crazy thoughts, and an extreme dislike for fairies.



Later on, Sauda soothes Barbara.

Sauda: Shhh, it's okay, mean burglar lady is all gone.

Sauda is also going to give Barbara nightmares from holding her wearing the pink monstrosity formalwear.



The next morning, Sauda gets back to work on her art. She should feel very lucky that I don't have Seasons. I don't think she'd very much enjoy working outside in the middle of rain or snow.



Sauda: Should I call Donny?

She hasn't talked to him since the brief moment when he magically showed up at the hospital to carry one of the twins home, and then immediately ran the heck away.

But since Sauda has that wish to get married, and Donnovan is currently her best (as in, only) option for marriage, she probably should make some contact with him.



Sauda: He's busy! UURRGGGHHHH!

She looks about ready to punch him. Maybe she should've actually told him when she got pregnant, instead of hiding away in the house and springing it on him right when he became a father. Maybe then he'd actually talk to her.



Sauda: *vomit*

Okay, I know she can't be pregnant this time around, unless immaculate conception exists in the sim world. Probably she's throwing up from the grossness that is her kitchen. This is a wake up call to clean, Sauda!



After finally getting Donnovan to agree to hang out, Sauda tracks him down right near the supermarket.



Sauda: So, after we woohooed I got pregnant and I kinda forgot to tell you. Thanks for the time off of work though. Your kids are named Barbara and Vlad.

Donnovan: No problem, it wasn't a big deal. Thanks for letting me know now.

This has to be the least dramatic "you're my baby daddy" confession ever. Especially since they both ignored each other forever and Donnovan refused to hang out with her for days.



Soon they're giggling and flirting just like usual.

Random Townie: Whooaaaa.

Why are random townies always nearby, awkwardly watching them. I swear, this town has an eavesdropping issue.



Donnovan: We should hang out again soon!

Well, at least things are pretty much back to normal. Let's see if Sauda can reconnect with him enough to pop the question.



The next day, Sauda rolls the wish to throw a birthday party for Vlad. I guess to make up for the fact that she left him on the floor for so long. And then, after she calls to schedule the party...

She decides to clean! YES YES YES!

You keep that up, clean the whole kitchen!



Veeeery good! I guess even Sauda has some shame, and doesn't want the guests to see her kitchen all nasty.



Hey, what's he doing here? He don't even know Sauda! I promise, she invited very few people (she doesn't exactly have a million friends) and he is NOT one of them!

Party Crasher: BOOOO! You're no good at cleaning!

Wow, he crashes the party and then he's completely rude too? He is so not getting a piece of cake!



The other, real guests start arriving. Darren, who is somehow actually friends with Sauda (despite a whole lot of terrible conversations) makes an appearance.



Ezekiel, the guy Sauda played tag with that one time, decides to come by as well. I almost didn't recognize him in his formal clothes!

Ezekiel: Haha, this house is hilarious!

Hey, no making fun of the ugly decor and furniture!



Party crasher dude makes himself useful by playing Sauda's guitar and providing some entertainment.



Another one of Sauda's acquaintances who actually bothered to show up decides to do some dancing.



At last, it's time for the birthday boy to grow up. His poor twin sister is going to have to wait another few hours before she automatically has her birthday.



AWWWW, Vlad is cute! He definitely has his dad's hair.



Here he is after Sauda got through with him. Gotta love the pink onesie. Wear it with pride, Vlad.



Looks like Sauda didn't do quite a good enough job cleaning. Either that or the house is so ugly it makes him want to vomit.



Hey, look who decided to show up! It's Taj!

Of course Donnovan, Vlad's father, didn't grace us with his presence. So typical!



Aww, now poor Barbara is the neglected child, having her birthday on the floor.



And she grows up!



Here's Barbara after the Sauda makeover. Sauda must be so sad that neither child got her hair. Not sure whose hair Barbara got. But in my opinion, she's absolutely adorable!




Well, the babies are now toddlers. Is there even a miniscule chance that Sauda will be able to teach them how to walk, talk, and go potty? One can hope and pray!

Sauda doesn't seem to have made much progress in getting Donnovan to marry her, but who knows how these things work for insane sims like her?

I hope you all enjoyed this update! Remember to comment or post on my forums thread. I always love to hear from you guys :)